Portland Timbers’ Record Night: An Anthropological Study

To stray a bit from my regular topic, I need to talk USL-1 for a second – specifically about my local team, the Portland Timbers. But, first, a little background.

Not too long ago, I was a season-ticket holder. When circumstances got in the way, my attendance record took a bit of a hit, but I still manage a few games a season (only three this time around). This isn’t about fan bona fides, though, but about context – the point is, I’ve seen a Timbers’ game or two in my time. And, using the game as an excuse to meet up with some friends I haven’t seen in a while, I figured I’d take in one more : the Timbers v. the visiting Charleston Battery.

So, what did I see?

More people than I have ever seen in PGE Park: 15,833 of ‘em. This was no Major League Soccer (MLS) padded count, but fans stuffed into just about every seat that wasn’t tarped over. The crowd was lively and the sound deafening; better still, the home team sent these fans home happy (well, happy-ish; let’s just say the atmosphere kicked the holy crap out of the game; very nice game winner, though, by Justin Thompson). Clean up the dump a little bit – most crucially, the plastic playing surface – and, no question, it would make one hell of an MLS venue; the roof keeps in the noise wonderfully.

Of equal interest, though, last night’s crowd was young – as in “young adult” – hip and, to be blunt about it, pretty damn hot. We’re talking young people dressed tight and trendy. To take a bit of a cheap shot (but, hey, I’ve earned it), of all the adjectives in the world, “hip,” “pretty damn hot,” and “trendy” very rarely apply in these United States. Based on first-hand experience with crowds in numerous professional soccer towns, soccer simply isn’t what the beautiful people do.

I’ve done a little reading to try to pin down what inspired, roughly, an extra 10,000 people to show up for this particular game – e.g. one featuring a home team that 1) has already qualified for the playoffs, and, 2) lugged a seven-game losing streak into the evening. True, it was the last regular season home game, but I’ve been to those before and, again, this kind of crowd didn’t materialize. The Timbers’ official site made some noise about the teams’ shot at topping the season attendance record – and, for the record, they did; both for the season and on the evening – but I doubt that was the hook either.

So, in an attempt to get to the bottom of this one, I went to the Timbers’ message board to see whether the true Timbers’ die-hards could explain last night to me. Here is my note to them (I add this mainly because it adds at least one detail; the presence of a local, bubble-gum pop radio station; was that the lure?):

“As a former season ticket-holder – a status that lapsed due to variety of circumstances that aren’t germane to the question at hand – and as someone who still gets out to see, oh 5 (in 2006) or 3 (in 2007) games a season, here’s my question: What the hell was last night? What got so many people into PGE Park? Where did the publicity come from? Did Jammin 95.5 hype the hell out of the event or what?”

“That last question is kind of central for me because I noticed something in particular about last night’s crowd: not only a couple-fold larger, but younger and (far) better-looking than usual? No offense to the regulars, but I’ve seen most of you and you don’t clean-up/tart-up nearly as nicely as a good chunk of last night’s crowd. (I’m not knocking anyone; I’m middle-aged and bald – i.e. I’m no prize, either).”

“Surely the shirt-off-our-back promotion wasn’t the hook? Was it down to marketing genius by Merritt Paulson [new owner of the Timbers]?”

“Anyway, whoever did it, they did a hell of job. 15,600-15,800, whatever the hell it was: you normally get that over three Timbers’ home games. It was deafening…and pretty damn cool.”

“As for what nearly ignited the brawl at the end, the Battery dude clipped one of the Timbers’ players RIGHT at the end; it was a typical a**hole maneuver, probably brought on by frustration.”

If and when I get a response, I’ll post it here. And, naturally, any Timbers’ fans with an answer to the above question should feel free to drop something (nice) in the comments.

UPDATE: I’ve already received what strikes me as a plausible answer to my question. Or, at least it answers what I view as the crucial piece in this – e.g. was there something specific I missed that would have lured, what amounts to, an unprecedented crowd? Here, in the words of “Calimero JackAcid,” is the explanation for the magic – and, for the record, I’m satisfied with it:

“The mathematical equation for the crowd last night, in my opinion, goes something like this: beautiful weather + cheap-ass beer + a little promotion + an article in the paper = big crowd.”

“You know those tarps they drape over the top 25 or so rows around the entire stadium? About ten minutes into the game, Piggy staff had to go up top in the north end and move the tarps another ten or fifteen rows higher in every section because there was no other place for people to sit. Brought a big smile to my face. Great to see.”

“As for the brawl, I didn’t see the Battery player shove the ref. The final whistle blew, Hague yelled some smack at the Battery player’s face, the Battery player retaliated by kicking/clipping Hague to the turf, both teams got in each other’s faces and started whispering sweet nothings about each other’s mothers, and both Hague and the Battery player ended up with yellow cards for their troubles (in the Battery player’s case, his second yellow of the game). The end.”