Real Men of Genius Contest–Soccer Style

Sitting at work yesterday, I realized that the award for Best Radio Commercials ever goes to Bud Light’s ‘Real Men of Genius‘ (formerly Real American Heroes).

Every break in the Buffalo Bills game, they would play one and I would start laughing uncontrollably. Simply put, Best. Commercials. Ever. Go here if you want to hear about 70 of them.

After listening to them all day, I thought to myself, ‘This HAS to be done for things that exist in soccer’. How great would it be to have the ‘Today, we salute you Mr. Medic That Can’t Pick Up The Stretcher’ or ‘Mr. Token David Beckham Jersey Wearer’

So I pose the challenge to you readers to come up with the greatest ‘Real Men of Genius’ commercials that relate to the beautiful game. Here is the Mr. Boneless Buffalo Wing Inventor’ written down so you get an idea.

Bud Lite Presents…Real Men of Genius

Real Men of Genius

Today, we salute you Mr. Boneless Buffalo Wing Inventor

Mr. Boneless Buffalo Wing Inventor

How do you improve upon a meat that is breaded, buttered, double fried and dipped in blue cheese dressing? Remove the only part that doesn’t contain fat.

Don’t need no stinkin’ bone

Gone now is the race to eat the drumsticks first, leaving the wings for the other poor suckers

Hands off my drummies

Is it leg? Is it wing? Is it rear end? Now, every chunk is identical as it is indistinguishable

I hope I’m not eating rear end

So crack open an ice cold Bud Lite Boneless Wing Mastermind-

Because we don’t have a bone to pick with you.

Real Men of Genius

So the entries should sound something like that. You can’t forget the guy in the background (italics above) that chimes in with the token saying in the middle.

I’m thinking of going with ‘Mr. ‘America Fuck Yeah’ Soccer Hater’, ‘Mr. Constantly Bad Mouthing Soccer Guy’ ‘Mr. Way Too Intense Sunday Side Defender’ or ‘Mr. Illegal Chinese-Feed Soccer Match Watcher’

The best ones will win something. Yes, something from me. So now you have no reason to say ‘I have nothing to do today’. Even just simply propose a ‘Mr. so and so’ and someone will take it from there.

Now go out and write me a winner.


(ben is today’s Lion Genius for the Houston Dynamo ‘Real Men of Genius’) 


4 Responses

  1. I’m just going to say: brilliant idea, and Ow My Revs.

  2. I will agree with DevP, brilliant! Now I won’t get any work done today…

  3. Today we salute you, Mr. I Watch Way Too Much Soccer and I Can’t Stop Blogger

    Mr. I Watch Way Too Much Soccer and I Can’t Stop Blogger

    Almost single-handedly, you have turned the Internet from a near-constant stream of porn and erectile dysfunction ads into the greatest outlet for football information the world has ever known.

    I got my kicks with World Cup 06

    Forever consigned to the scrap heap are the remnants of Soccer Made in Germany, the APSL, and stolen back issues of SoccerAmerica.

    My comment, where’s my comment?

    For all those looking to find out the latest injury reports from Serie C or a midseason preview of the relegation battle at the bottom of the Bundeliga, yo9u have become DA MAN!!

    Donati’s out. What AGAIN!?!?

    So crack open that ice cold can of Bud Light Mr. Footy McBlogmeister, and remember, just don’t spill it on your keyboard.

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