One-Liner Guide to La Liga- Jornada 27 (Next Week, I Take On Paragraphs!)

Welcome back to the LAST One-Liner Guide to La Liga- Jornada 27.  No, don’t run crying into the streets yet, I’m just allowing myself to expand a bit in the upcoming weeks because I feel I can be wittier in more than one line.  And well..frankly..I can.

Your Spanish Cosita

I present to you the winner and Spanish representative in the Eurovision 2008 contest, Rodolfo Chikilicuatre. He is a comedian on a late night TV show in Spain called ‘Buenafuente’. This season, fans decided to break the sterotype of boring and dull songs and just go balls out with this guy.

If this guy wins, it would be amazing. What a star.

La Semana Pasada

–Is the Sky Really Falling in Spain?? I beg to differ.

— Getafe is ‘The little club that could’ moving on to the Round of 8 in the UEFA Cup. Aupa Geta!

–Apparently Barcelona are already making their Shopping list for next season, and who would have thought, 2 Sevilla players (and Diego Capel is missing) are on their list. On the same topic, AS gives a look at what Sevilla players are being sought after this off season.

— Thierry Henry insists ‘personal problems’ are at fault for his terrible play this year. But some are saying it’s his disdain for not playing a 4-4-2.

—Juan Soler has finally left Valencia, but for health reasons. I personally never understood the guy, but hate to see him leave due to him being sick. His 3 1/2 years have been a bit tumultuous, I’ll give you that.

–All you want to know about Messi and using HGH. Just read the comments section.

–Rijkaard still denies he’s leaving in June. Come on now, does he really think he is staying?

(REMEMBER, TIMES ARE IN EST and now its 5 hours thanks to the early time change)

This week’s MENUDO PARTIDAZO!

Real Madrid v Deportivo
Saturday 3:00pm

Real struggle in the Riazor, not having won a game since 1991(that’s 15 games) in total. Barcelona fans rejoice.

Recreativo v Murcia
Saturday 3:00pm

Javier Clemente, my new favorite La Liga gaffer, said this week that Madrid and Barcelona basically suck in La Liga this season. ¡Que huevos los suyos Clemente!

Betis (aka los cucumbers) v Athletic
Saturday 3:00pm

The other team from Seville have been linked to talks with Almeria head coach Unai Emery about taking over the team next season. To help Fetis, you’ll need more than that.

Valencia v Sevilla

Saturday 3:00pm

A must win for the Sevillistas against a newly president-less Valencia side with nothing left to lose.

Villarreal v Zaragoza
Sunday 12:00pm

A Villarreal win and Barcelona loss will close the gap for second place to only 1 point. We all live in a yellow submarine.

Getafe v Racing
Sunday 12:00pm

Getafe are on a roll coming off a UEFA Cup win, but can they stop a Racing side that is one of the league leaders in the second half of the La Liga season?

Espanyol v Mallorca
Sunday 12:00pm

The big talk at the Montjuic this week is whether or not Espanyol are going to put the Catalan flag on their uniforms next season.

Valladolid v Osasuna
Sunday 12:00pm

Osasuna gaffer José Luis Mendilibar joins on the ‘Del Nido Express’ pleading for the fan’s support saying ‘if the fans aren’t with us, you don’t look for the ball.’ Well said.

Almería v Barcelona
Sunday 2:00pm

I’m actually looking forward to this game the most out of the entire weekend.

Atlético v Levante
Sunday 4:00pm

In an interview with AS Agüero assures fans ‘The refs who think I trick (dive) don’t know me’. And those of you that don’t know, I’m also banging Diego Maradona’s daughter.

Sexellent.

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