MLS 2008 Eastern Conference Preview: Contenders, Dark Horses, Filler, and C.H.U.D.s

(It looks like I got a little ahead of myself down below…if only by implication. Expect the Western Conference Preview tomorrow and pre-season power rankings Friday. Which is how god intended it.)

Between the super-abundance of variables – some directly inter-related, some not – and the parade of blind-spots steadily unspooling behind me, any attempt on my part to provide a detailed and precise run-down of what will happen to each of Major League Soccer’s (MLS) 14 teams between now and MLS Cup 2008 seems either silly, pompous, or slated for failure – or all the above. Given that, I’ll keep things loose. Rather than exactly predicting who will finish where in the standings, this preview, and the one to follow, stops short of ranking teams in the order they will finish, but instead places them into four broad categories. To make things still more vague, I list more than eight “playoff-capable” teams – and I’ll get to the name for that below – an obvious issue with only eight playoff slots available.

This is intentional…I meant “loose” in the first sentence literally…judge me as you will. But, before charging me with cowardice, consider instead that these are the fruits of parity.

To introduce the categories, each team will be tagged with a label: Contender, Dark Horse, Filler, or C.H.U.D. The first two are pretty obvious – e.g. “Contender” attaches to a team with a clear shot at the title, while “Dark Horse” flags a team with the talent and depth to steal the title, but only provided good form and luck through ‘08. For “Filler” teams, the playoffs are within reach, but the title…well, it ain’t gonna happen. Finally, “C.H.U.D.s” – aka, “Cannabalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers”: these are the teams that will suffer in the confines of MLS’s cellars, only coming out for rare feasts on the flesh of the living.

As for resources, what comes below relies on only a few: WVHooligan’s most current list of off-season player movement and Climbing the Ladder’s best guess at starting elevens for the Eastern and Western Conferences.

Finally, if this seems a little weenie, don’t worry: I’ll make an ass of myself tomorrow when I post pre-season power rankings. Odds are I’ll do the same here in any case. Time to get on with the game…for clarity’s sake, teams are listed from Contender to C.H.U.D. Continue reading

MLS & Yanquis: The Day Ahead

Given that I have to record Poland v. United States and watch it later (much, much later, perhaps as in tomorrow later), I have to hide from soccer-related media starting around 1:30 p.m. PST.  That means no Daily Sweeper for today…which may or may not chap anyone’s ass…I don’t know such things.

Fair not, fear people! I still have a thing or two in the hopper for today, namely, Major League Soccer Conference previews.  Look for those later today…and for a recap on the Poland friendly much, much later.

That is all.

Actually, no, it isn’t.  Don’t know if anyone out there watched any or all of Frontline’s two-day documentary on 9/11 and the Iraq War.  If you didn’t I recommend it highly.  But that’s not why I’m jabbering about it and I won’t subject you to a recount of my views on the war.

The thing that caught me last night was a very brief moment in the documentary, a five-seconds-long clip in which I happened to see that rarest of things on television.  The clip showed a man – an insurgent, I believe – firing, or attempting to fire, an RPG.  I can’t tell you whether or not he actually got off his shot, but, whatever happened, he wound up on his can in the middle of the street.  As he’s sitting on the pavement, sparks flash on the street around him and little whisps of wind trace across his clothing.  Suddenly aware of his total vulnerability, the man turns to look and – this  was the harrowing part for me – you see it register, the comsuming immensity of his predicament.  Then, within the next second, he’s dead: bullets hit his leg and head almost simultaneously, he jerks to his back – and that’s it.  Scary, scary stuff.  That image played over and over in my head over the half hour it took to fall asleep.