MLS Week 2 Power Rankings: Breaking Hearts and Molding Clay

To the teams sending seriously mixed signals – I’m looking at you New England Revolution; you too Columbus Crew – shame on you! People devote large (if kinda irrational) chunks of their lives to the team of their choosing; you owe them honesty about exactly who you are at the very least.

OK, feeling like we all have a little more with which to work this week – even if things remain a little early and a lot misshapen. At the top and the bottom of the rankings, I’m feeling a little more confident about who goes where; the middle remains a lump of clay waiting to be caressed into coherence, set in the clarifying fires of the pitched battle, glazed in defeat or victory – by the Shield of Galadiel, huzzah! (Sorry…reading Lord of the Rings…please, Mr. Tolkein (and I know you’re long departed) do I have to read about each and every hill those little midgets climb?)

Where was I? Right. The one thing to keep in mind: teams are ranked on the assumption that those above will beat those below right now. Strength over the long haul, well, that’s something else again. When we get closer to the “real season” – i.e. the playoffs, the bit that counts – I’ll probably through an addendum to the rankings about who I think will or will not make the playoffs. But we’re a long way from that; for now, it’s who beat who.

Enough about baffled lovers, broken hearts…my geeky reading list; this week’s rankings follow, with last week’s rankings placed in parentheses right after. As always, feel free to post power rankings of your own in the comments and I’ll include them in the collective rankings I compile every Thursday. Here’s my take on the MLS Stack-Up:

1. (2) Kansas City Wizards
I do think the Wizards have talent, if not a plan, but they’re here due to factors concerning the team immediately below…whom I think may actually be better. But points are points and I’m waiting on more evidence. So, here’s your #1.

2. (4) Chivas USA
If they beat any team but Real Salt Lake and anywhere but home, they’d be #1. I can’t quite bring myself to buy KC. Chivas looks pretty salty out there, though….

3. (3) DC United
So it was Toronto FC. But DC did pound sand right up their asses. I think they’ll be good and expect they’ll top dog a couple times this season. Just not yet…

4. (1) New England Revolution
Crap weeks happen to everyone; whatever they do in the future, I’d bet a pair of silky underwear that snuggle up just right that last Thursday’s reaming won’t happen again any time soon.

5. (9) Colorado Rapids
If that mediocre, Clavijo-coached-team pong didn’t cling so terribly, I’d probably rate them higher. But an opening day win, plus a close road loss to the #1 team says they’re looking a bit of all right.

6. (11) Chicago Fire
I blame myself, here, for ranking them low in Week 1. They do have some solidity about them and just enough “O” to compete with the rest, if not the best.

7. (6) Red Bull New York
Victims of 1) others’ success and, 2) last week’s lazy ranking, Red Bull may have looked solid on defense (still, see below) and they created two more clear-cut chances than they scored, but they didn’t make me believe.

8. (7) FC Dallas
They worked damned hard for their scrap of points. It’s just not so damned hard for a good team…hence, #8.

9. (5) Houston Dynamo
The whistling sound you hear is either the Dynamo’s free-fall in my rankings or people looking under the hood of a car that ran real swell a week ago and wondering what the hell happened. That draw came at home…and they gave up 3.

10. (8) Columbus Crew
My homer instincts put these guys just inside the playoff bubble last week; don’t think they belong there, not in comparison to the teams above. Their attack against Red Bull was the soccer equivalent of slap-fighting.

11. (13) Los Angeles Galaxy
Two rock-star attacking players are better than none…even with Alan Gordon playing third fiddle. OK, I believe they’ll beat bad team, but what about the rest? Convince me.

12. (10) Real Salt Lake
Everyone agrees this team has improved, but I get the feeling that only gets them to where the Crew are today…which is licking the wrong side of the playoff glass.

13. (14) San Jose Earthquakes
Tough call, especially given that Toronto has at least managed to score. It wouldn’t surprise me to see the ‘Quakes break record for futility Toronto set last season, but I hear they defend pretty well and that’ll get you some points.

14. (12) Toronto FC
So they scored: they also got shellacked – and at home. (CORRECTION: Dang it!  Pay attention, man.  Toronto lost in DC.  My bad, but I eat my mistakes.)  If you’re going to roll over on defense for submissive pissing, your offense better kick ass…and it doesn’t.

5 Responses

  1. […] week 2 power rankings (Center Holds It) 2797 Category: Daily Dose, French Ligue 1, English Premier League, MLS Tags: MLS, English […]

  2. Yeah! We moved up one despite looking like absolute shit on the pitch! I call it charasma.

  3. I’m not the only one who thinks San Jose will beat Toronto if and when they play. At worst, I’d wager on a draw…though that might be only in the BG era (“before Guevara”….and, no, I’m not completely serious).

  4. […] to get you wondering, by the way, why I don’t rate the Rapids higher in my Week 2 power rankings…though I think I explain it […]

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