MLS Week 25 Power Rankings – The Haiku Edition

By way of trying something unusual this week, I’ll tackle this week’s rankings haiku style.

As always, last week’s ranking appears in parentheses after this week’s ranking and, in a new(-ish) twist, current points (drawn from the ever-helpful standings) and each team’s upcoming game(s) are listed as well.

1. (1) DC United (50 points)
Valiant fighters; stand firmly amid strong winds; too many long days?
(Translation: When they don’t win, they tie; the last four points came hard; what’s next? Toronto? Oh, never mind.)
In Week 26: Toronto FC (WTF?!), 9/29

2. (2) Chivas USA (47 pts.)
Sleeping in triumph; Wizard slain with flashing sword; will sleep continue?
(Translation: Dang, they phoned it in last week, but won by a stroke of brilliance; was the lazy game a sign of something endemic? Tough game this weekend.)
In Week 26: Chicago Fire, 9/29

3. (3) New England Revolution (46 pts.)
Small rival lashed out; tangling the oak in long vines; blond reaper wields axe.
(Translation: Loss the Red Bull kept the Revs in the back; thank god they’ve got Twellman or they’d slip down into the thick of things.)
In Week 26: Colorado Rapids, 9/29

4. (4) Houston Dynamo (45 pts.)
Sleeping by still pool; sunlight shining on armor; old enemy lurks.
(Translation: Time for the Dynamo to get back to the fight – and how.)
In Week 26: @ FC Dallas, 9/30

5. (6) Red Bull New York (38 pts.)
Two pillars stand tall; builder stacks stones behind them; a good house rises.
(Translation: The front-line is squared away, but Arena is tinkering with everything behind it – and he might have finally worked things out.)
In Week 26: Real Salt Lake, 9/29

6. (5) FC Dallas (40 pts.)
Boot pulls off in mud; traveler stands unbalanced; tired but struggling.
(Translation: I’m close to giving up on Dallas. To their credit, they’re still fighting, but they seem stuck in neutral.)
In Week 26: Houston Dynamo, 9/30

7. (9) Kansas City Wizards (36 pts.)
Merchant travels West; fine wares taken eagerly; purse remains empty.
(Translation: In spite of outplaying Chivas, the Wizards got dick as reward for enterprising play; maybe this week they’ll do better.)
In Week 26: LA Galaxy, 9/27

8. (8) Chicago Fire (32 pts.)
A fiend before them; the young and old march behind; eating a thin soup.
(Translation: With Blanco in the lead, the Fire’s mix of too old and too young heads toward an uncertain season’s end.)
In Week 26: @ Chivas USA, 9/29

9. (10) Columbus Crew (31 pts.)
Staggering at dusk; a field of plump and plenty; succor for hard road.
(Translation: When you need a win, that’s a good week to meet TFC. The road remains hard, though – impossible if they drop the game to LA.)
In Week 26: LA Galaxy, 9/30

10. (7) Colorado Rapids (29 pts.)
Blind man raving; echoing into silence; unhappy end near.
(Translation: I think Fernando Clavijo has finally traded anyone who cares; the rest will ride out this year, counting on Clavijo’s departure and a better 2008.)
In Week 26: @ New England, 9/29

11. (11) Real Salt Lake (23 pts.)
One-legged beavers; ally with crafty otters; danger in the pond.
(Translation: RSL is out, but still cause problems with that Kreis-inspired fight, plus their new trio of Argentines. Red Bull needs to be wary.)
In Week 26: @ Red Bull New York, 9/29

12. (12) Los Angeles Galaxy (21 pts.)
Suffocating sun; burns all it touches with fire; the sun grows larger.
(Translation: Beckham-mania already burned LA, but they may yet take a few down with them and may yet burn other teams – like their two desperate visitors in Week 25.)
In Week 26: @ Kansas City, 9/27; @ Columbus Crew, 9/30

13. (13) Toronto FC (21 pts.)
The drought at an end; the village expects a feast; hope dies in cold sun.
(Translation: They got their goal, but, as summer turns to autumn, Fortress BMO is no more.)
In Week 26: @ DC United, 9/29

Oh, holy crap, I’m never doing that again.